At the beginning of August, Casey and I hosted our Youth Group's 2nd Annual Glamping Trip (Glamping = Glamorous Camping). At the evening campfire we asked each of the kids to name a highlight from the past year in addition to a goal for the coming year. After all of them had gone around, they turned the tables on us and asked for our own answers. When it came to sharing my goal, all of them shouted "to have kids!". While this is most certainly true, I revised my answer a little bit. I informed them that in all honesty, adoption can be a long and complicated process and that adopting a child this year may not actually happen despite all of our efforts. My goal was rather to remain patient and to keep a positive attitude. A few of them have already volunteered to babysit!
Casey and I are extremely excited to become dads. At the same time we are also very anxious, more than occasionally stressed and quite obviously emotional. A couple of months have passed since the last auction for KNIT FOR BABY wrapped up and I have struggled to write a new blog post. I have sat down multiple times trying to compose the "right" words but ultimately I did not succeed in doing so until now. All of you who have taken the time out of your own busy lives to support us on our journey deserve to know exactly what we have been going through.
The road to adoption has been quite unpredictable so far. We are beginning to see more and more that adoption has become a "game" and/or "business". I recently asked my parents to explain what the adoption process was like back in 1983 when they travelled all the way to Taiwan to adopt me. Was it a long and complicated process? Was it expensive? Since thirty-two years have passed, my parent's recollections are vague but they did confirm that it was much easier and quite cheaper compared to now. There we not as many hoops to jump through and obstacles to overcome.
Since officially completing and passing our home study in July, Casey and I have spent countless hours calling and meeting with multiple agencies and lawyers. Let me tell you it has not been an easy task. The larger agencies are having the most success due to a commanding online presence. The downside to working with them is the high cost and much larger pool of competition that we would find ourselves in. The smaller local agencies have had far less success recently but feel the most personal to work with. As far as working with a private lawyer, the laws of adoption vary from state to state. In our home state of New Jersey, lawyers are not allowed to get as involved in the matching process than say down in Florida. In all of the above situations the fine print is never ending and at the end of the day we must go with our gut feeling.
We have had four adoption possibilities fall through since the end of August. Each situation was completely different but our disappointment was always the same. At first I attempted to set aside my feelings of sadness and tried to keep a smile on my face. As you might have guessed, that did not last very long. My emotions got the best of me and I completely broke down. Don't get me wrong - I am very hopeful and know deep down that it will happen! It's a matter of when and not if. But with each time that we get closer and closer, the sting of disruption is more crushing. A good friend reminded me that it is okay to cry as long as I get back up, dust myself off and get back on the horse. I have to realize that there are so many incredible and extremely qualified waiting families. If we are not the ones selected, it only means that another family's dream has come true. How can I be mad at that? Casey says that each day that goes by is a day closer to becoming fathers. I am very thankful for his upbeat approach. Patient and positive!
Through all of this we are learning valuable lessons and gaining vital information for moving ahead. We have built positive relationships with two small agencies and also with a local attorney. Our official adoption profile book has been printed and a separate adoption website has been created to show potential birthmothers. We are now playing the waiting game. I encourage all of you to share our adoption website (www.caseyanddavidadopt.com) with ANYONE you think might be able to help. We have been told time and time again that a large percentage of matches are made through self-advertising and through personal connections. We certainly appreciate your assistance. Please keep your eyes and ears open for us!
Click the photo below to visit our adoption website
With everything going on I have been less productive in my knitting. I have six beautiful pieces for the upcoming WINTER COLLECTION so far. My goal is to reach 8-10 designs by the auction date: November 27th (Black Friday)! After getting feedback from the first two auctions I finally purchased some basics to dress the mannequin! These will definitely come in handy when photographing sweaters. I have posted one example from the collection down below.
Thank you for taking the time to catch up on our current status. I hope to keep you better informed in the weeks and months to come. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers and as always continue to Share, Like, and Comment down below.
- David -